


Jizzle Of Oz

by FrickingKaos



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Comedy, Parody, Wizard of Oz References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrickingKaos/pseuds/FrickingKaos
Summary: He opened the bus door and gasped.... "I don't think I'm in Florida anymore!" (a parody of The Wizard Of Oz with Judy Garland.)





	1. Chapter 1

"Wow, its really storming out there." Nick muttered as he looked out the window of his tour bus. The BSB tour bus was traveling through Florida and rain fell in blinding sheets against the glass. Brian was sleeping in the bunk nearby, and the others were watching movies in the back. 

"Only Brian could sleep through something like this." Nick sighed, reading his comic book and stretched out his legs...feeling sleepy. All of a sudden the wind howled and the rain sounded like hail. Nick looked up and there were little pellets of ice banging against the window. 

"Guys, get up....we have to get off this bus! There is a tornado headed this way....we have to take shelter!" Kevin's voice boomed, his feet pounding as he ran down the aisle. Nick heard the faint whistle of a tornado siren. 

"Dude, put down the comic book and go!" AJ startled him, Nick felt his arm almost being pulled out of his socket. 

"Brian's still sleeping..." Nick shouted, pointing frantically. They could barely walk once they were outside...the wind was so strong it could have blown them away. Nick looked at the dark sky and shivered. Ominous black clouds hung low over them and the rain fell like needles against their skin. 

"WHERE IS BRIAN?" Kevin screamed over the sirens. 

"He's still asleep!" Howie answered, his hand trying desperately to hold his hair in place. Nick shook his head at him, god forbid hair number 47 was not in its position. 

"Nick, don't go back in there!" AJ yelled as Nick ran back onto the bus. He heard Tyke barking frantically. Nick searched everywhere but did not find Brian. Instead he scooped up the tiny dog and headed back to the front of the bus. He stepped off but did not see the other boys anywhere. 

"Where the hell did they go?" he wondered briefly. The wind almost knocked him to the ground, his blonde hair in his eyes as he tried to walk. He was almost around the corner of the bus when he saw it....a large black funnel headed towards him. Tyke was barking in his ear and growling. 

"I know, I see it!" Nick shouted to nobody in particular. The tornado was almost right on top of him, he could feel it trying to pull him closer. Nick grabbed onto the door of the tour bus and pulled himself on with his free hand. He dropped the dog and climbed on before shutting the door. 

"This is not good..." Nick mumbled softly when the bus lurched forward. He fell to his feet but managed to stand again. The bus shook once more and Nick looked out the window....he was inside the funnel. The bus was being shaken like a martini. Tyke was whimpering under the bunk, and Nick knew he had to find somewhere to hide. He ran the length of the bus towards his bunk but suddenly a large object whacked him in the head and he lay unconscious on the floor. The bus shook for some time after that until it bounced as if it had finally came to rest. Everything that had not been tied or bolted down was all over the floor. 

 

"Fucking Christ," he said once he came to, rubbing his head. Howie's hair care products were all over him. Nick slowly got up and wiped the blood off of his forehead, standing up shakily. Tyke had come out of his hiding spot and was running around the floor of the bus as Nick wandered to the bathroom. The bus seemed to be intact, but the windows were all broken. After cleaning himself up a bit, Nick decided to wander off of the bus and at least find out where he had ended up if anywhere. His head was killing him, and he was a little dizzy as he walked to the door and stepped out. What shocked him was what he saw. 

"Tyke....we are definitely not in Florida anymore." he mutterred, his mouth hanging open. Wherever he was, Nick knew he must be dreaming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick meets Leighanne, the good witch of the North and the Munchkins.

"We are definitley not in Florida anymore." Nick muttered as he walked out of the crumpled bus. Every color of the rainbow jumped at him...there were several small houses standing nearby. Tyke trotted after him, sniffing. 

"What the fuck?" Nick whispered, rubbing the back of his head as he walked. 

"How hard did I hit my head?" he asked out loud, walking. There was a street made of yellow bricks underneath him and a small village. The house were very small, too small for Nick to fit inside. As he walked he felt as if someone were watching him but shook it away. He turned around and saw a pink bubble floating nearby. 

"Pink bubbles. I HAVE to be dreaming." Nick said, rubbing his head again. Suddenly there was a blonde woman standing there dressed in a big, frilly and extremely tacky looking dress covered in glitter. Tyke began barking and growling. The woman shook away the bubble and nearly tripped over the long scarf around her neck. 

"What the hell?" Nick asked in awe, he was sure he would be asking himself this question a lot today. 

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" the woman asked. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, are you a good witch or a bad witch?" she repeated, waving her scarf at him. Nick looked around and back at her. 

"I'm not a witch, I'm Nick Carter...I resign in Florida."

"Is that the witch?" the woman asked, pointing at Tyke. 

"No, he's a dog. Where am I?" Nick asked. Wow this lady is an airhead, he thought. 

"I'm a bit lost, the Munchkins told me you dropped a bus on Mandy, the Witch of the East."

"What? I didn't drop the bus." Nick protested. 

"Here's the bus, and here you are...so are you a good witch or a bad witch?" the woman said. 

"I told you lady, I can't be a witch. I'm a guy. And besides, witches are ugly." Nick said, laughing. He suddenly heard high pitched giggling nearby.

"What was that?" he asked. 

"Those are the Munchkins. They're laughing because I am a witch. I'm Leighanne, the Witch of the North." 

"Oh. Well where am I?" Nick said, not really caring who she was. All he knew is that he wanted to get back home, he was sure the guys would wonder where he went, not to mention that they were probably wondering about where the bus had gone. 

"This is Oz. The Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the witch.." Leighanne said. People started coming out of the houses. Short people, Nick thought....midgets. He suddenly felt very tall. 

"But I didn't kill anybody." Nick protested, hoping he wouldn't get sued for dropping a bus on someone. He looked at the bus, a pair of red Converse sneakers stuck out from underneath the tire. What a way to go, he thought. 

"How do I get back to Florida?" Nick asked, after everyone had told him what a hero he was. 

"You can't go back the way you came." Leighanne said, adjusting her scarf again. The Munchkins were all wearing orange shirts with her picture on them.   
"Well duh." Nick muttered. 

"You have to see the Wizard." one of the Munchkins said suddenly. 

"The wizard?" 

"The great and powerful Jizzle of Oz can help you get home. He lives in the Emerald City....its pretty far away." Leighanne said. Nick wasn't sure if he wanted to go and see a wizard, but he wanted to get back to the guys. 

"How do you get there?" Nick asked. This day just kept getting weirder and weirder, and his head hurt him. 

"The yellow brick road-" someone started...but a large pink cloud of smoke interrupted them. Nick jumped, a skinny girl had appeared. She had a bedazzled broomstick and her face looked like she had been run over by a bus too. She walked over to the bus and then up to Nick...looking him over. 

"Who killed her? Who killed the witch of the East? It was you, wasn't it?" she demanded. 

"Like hell it was. I didn't kill anybody!" 

"Did you forget the sneakers?" Leighanne asked, smirking. The witch smiled and walked over to the bus, reaching for the sneakers...but they vanished. 

"WHERE ARE THEY?" the witch demanded, her blonde hair in her face. 

"Who is she?" Nick asked. Tyke was growling, he didn't like her at all. 

"That's Paris. She's the witch of the West...she is worse than the other one." 

"Give me those sneakers!" Paris shouted. Leighanne pointed her wand at Nick's feet...He looked down and saw he was wearing the shoes. 

"Now why in the name of Howie did you do that?" Nick whined. 

"They are on him now....and they won't come off. Now leave before a bus falls on you too." Leighanne said, smiling. Paris disappeared in another cloud of smoke. Leighanne kissed Nick on the forehead. 

"The magic must be great or she wouldn't want them. You need to find the Wizard, because as long as the sneakers are on you, the more that witch will want you." she told him. 

"Well its your fault, you put them on me." Nick said, scowling. 

"Can't prove it by me. Now follow the yellow brick road and you will find Emerald City. Its a long journey...but The Jizzle will help you." 

"Jizzle? What kind of retarded name is that?" Nick wondered, but the bubble had appeared again and floated away. 

"Well, Tyke...its you and me now..." Nick said as they began walking down the road, not sure where it would take them or who they would meet next.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick meets a very friendly scarecrow.

It felt like he had been walking down the brick road for hours, the sun beating down on his back. Tyke was trotting behind him, his tongue hanging. 

"I know, its hot as hell out here." Nick complained, wiping at the beads of sweat forming on his face. They came to a fork in the road surrounded by cornfields. The road split in three directions, one going into the woods, one straight, and one into the mountains. 

"Well...which way do we go now?" Nick asked out loud, looking down at the dog. Tyke looked at him, his head turned sideways and barked. 

"You're a lot of help." Nick laughed, reaching down to pet him. He stood in the middle of the road, looking at each one and deciding which was the best way, but he had no idea where he was. 

"Are you lost?" a voice said out of nowhere. Nick's head shot up, his eyes wide. 

"Who said that?" he asked, but there wasn't anybody in sight. 

"Over here..." 

Nick heard the corn rustle and looked at the cornfield nearby. There was a tall wooden pole sticking up, and a large black crow sat on top. 

"No way." Nick muttered, walking closer. Tyke barked and ran into the cornfield. 

"Get back here you dumb dog!" Nick shouted, running after him. He almost ran straight into the pole. 

"Hello..." the voice said again. Nick swore as he stood up, brushing himself off. He looked up to find a scarecrow waving at him from the pole. 

"It WAS you. But...scarecrows can't talk." Nick whispered. 

"Well, I can." the scarecrow said in a distinct southern drawl. Nick laughed.

"I'm trying to get to Emerald City..." Nick explained. The scarecrow was quiet for a long time.   
"That way is nice...but you could also go that way..." he said, crossing his arms and pointing. 

"Can't you make up your mind?" Nick said. 

"I wish I could....but I don't have one." the scarecrow replied. Nick laughed, but felt confused at the same time. This scarecrow was not like any he had ever seen before. 

"Doesn't it hurt being up there all day?" he asked after a minute. The crow perched on top of the pole just sat there, unfazed. 

"Kind of....I'm not sure." the scarecrow replied, shrugging. 

"You don't make any sense." Nick said. He was getting frustrated but figured it wouldn't hurt to help the scarecrow down. 

"Bend down that nail and I might slip off." the scarecrow suggested. Nick reached up and pulled down the nail, causing the scarecrow to fall to the ground. Nick helped him up, he had a hard time standing. What surprised him was that he was taller than year scarecrow....it was about a foot shorter than he was. 

"Aren't you a little short to be a scarecrow?" Nick asked, looking down at him. 

"The farmer who made me is short....they used his clothes." the scarecrow explained. The crow from the pole flew down and landed on his head, and he didn't seem to notice. 

"Aren't you going to scare it away?" Nick asked. 

"It hurts their feelings..." the scarecrow whispered, cupping his hand so the crow didn't hear. 

"Now I have seen everything. A scarecrow who is friends with the damn crows." Nick said, laughing again. 

"So why are you going to the city anyway?" the scarecrow asked. 

"I am looking for this wizard so I can get back home to Florida. Maybe he can help you too..." Nick said, looking at the giant crow on the scarecrow's head as it cawed. Getting annoyed, he made a loud noise and scared it away. 

"Why did you do that? It wasn't hurting you." the scarecrow said in a whisper. 

"You're a scarecrow, that's your job!" 

"Really?" 

Nick rolled his eyes.....and people said he was the dumb one. 

"Come with me to Emerald City....I could use some company anyway." 

"Okay...but I thought you were lost." the scarecrow said. Nick just started to walk...the scarecrow and Tyke following him down the path through the woods, Nick mumbling to himself as they went.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and The Scarecrow meet the Tin Man. Paris, the Wicked Witch of the West ambushes them.

"How far is it to Emerald City, anyways? I feel like I have been walking for hours...and I'm hungry." Nick commented. It was hot out and he wondered when this weird dream he must be having would be over with. 

"Uh...I don't know. I stood in a cornfield all day, remember? It can't be too far." the scarecrow said, waving at the crow perched stubbornly on his head. Nick laughed at him but stopped when he saw some apple trees. His stomach growled loudly at the sight of food. Nick smiled and reached for a large one on the nearest tree but was shocked when the tree decided to hit him. 

"What the hell was that for?" Nick shouted in confusion. Tyke began barking. 

"How would you feel if I came and grabbed something off of you?" the tree snapped. 

"Well, that's nothing new. It happens all the time back home. I keep forgetting this must be a dream." Nick said. He would rather have a rabid crazed fan tearing at his clothes than get hit by a talking tree. 

"I will show you how to get apples." the scarecrow whispered sneakily, winking. He made a face at the tree and flipped it off. All of the trees nearby started shouting and pelting them with apples. 

"Make fun of us, will they?" the tree screamed. 

"You don't want those apples, they probably have big hairy worms in them." Brian said. 

"Would ya stop insulting the damn trees?" Nick begged, covering his head. 

"Ow....fuck...those things hurt!" he said, rubbing at his backside. He went to pick up one of the apples off the ground, but his eyes met up with a metal shoe....followed by a leg...

"Hey! A man made of metal...." Nick gasped. He stood up and looked it over. He was taller than Nick and in a position as if he had been chopping a tree when he rusted. 

"mmhmmmhmm." the tin man mumbled, unable to move his mouth. 

"What's he saying?" the scarecrow asked. 

"Hell if I know. I don't speak robot." Nick said. 

"Mmhmmmhmm!" 

"Well there is an oil can here, think that's what he wants?" the scarecrow pointed out. Nick took the oil can and squirted it onto the tin man's mouth, and his arms. The axe fell to the ground...the tin man sighed with content. 

"Thank....you...." he said, his face not showing any emotion. Nick wondered why he was speaking so slowly. 

"Get...my...legs...." the tin man begged, letting go of the axe. 

"How long were you here for? Don't your arms hurt?" Nick asked, noticing how heavy the axe was. 

"I....don't...know..." the tin man said, still speaking in monotone. Nick was starting to get annoyed already and wanted to tell him to hurry up and get to the point. The tin man started to walk, very stiffly and as if he had a stick up his ass. 

"Why are you talking so slow?" the scarecrow wondered, holding back a laugh as they had to oil the tin man again. 

"I....never...had....a..." the tin man started, but Nick got frustrated. 

"I think he is trying to say he has no heart, that's why he talks like he's a robot." he interrupted. 

"Oh." the scarecrow said as the crow came back again and cawed at him in a teasing sort of way.

"Goddamn crows." Nick mumbled, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Here he was in the middle of nowhere wearing red sneakers and talking to a scarecrow....not to mention a tin man that had no emotions whatsoever. This day just kept getting better and better. 

"Okay, so I guess you should come along too. That axe might come in handy." Nick said, standing up. Suddenly, a pink cloud of smoke appeared nearby. 

"Helping the young man along, are we?" the witch shouted, laughing. 

"Who....is...that..." the tin man asked. 

"Want to play with fire, scarecrow?" the witch cackled. 

"No, that's fine!" he protested as she made a fireball shoot at him. 

"That's hot!" she grinned. 

"Get out of here before a bus falls on you too." Nick snapped, watching the scarecrow flailing about, the fire nowhere near him. 

"I'll get you my Nicky....and your little dog too! I will have those shoes!" the witch said. She vanished into another cloud of smoke. 

"We better get out of here before she comes back." Nick said, thoroughly disgusted by the ugly witch. 

"Can....I....come...with....you? The tin man asked, clanking behind them. 

"Okay, I guess." Nick said, as they headed further into the forest. Nick wondered if he would ever get home and when he did, he would be glad to get out of this dream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meets a Spanish speaking lion.

"Do you know where we are going?" the scarecrow asked when they were headed into the woods nearby. 

"Haven't a clue, I'm hoping this is some weird dream I'm having from inhaling Howie's hairspray fumes." Nick said irritably as the three of them walked. 

"Who....is....Howie?" the tin man asked in his annoyingly slow monotone. 

"He's Puerto Rican and doesn't do very much...he's just kind of there, trying too hard to be sexy. He's not the sexy one....I am." Nick explained, rolling his eyes. He wondered what would happen if he never came back....maybe his fans would all pick Howie as their favorite and forget him. He was horrified at the thought. 

"Oh." As they wandered further into the dark forest, Nick felt a bit afraid...

"This place is scary." the scarecrow commented. Nick rolled his eyes....a scarecrow afraid of crows and the dark. He admitted to himself he wasn't exactly having the time of his life on this trek. 

"We....will....be....fine..." the tin man said. 

"Be quiet...I hear something." Nick said, stopping in the middle of the brick road. He heard a loud roar and suddenly a lion jumped from behind the trees at them. Nick screamed and hid behind the tree as the scarecrow and tin man fell. The lion roared again and then winked....Nick watched in confusion. 

"Who enters my forest?" the lion demanded, but instead of threatening them, he made the scarecrow laugh. 

"What's wrong with your voice?" he asked. The lion's voice was high pitched and not very menacing....he sounded like he was afraid of them. He winked again twice more before coming face to face with the scarecrow. 

"What are you looking at?" he squeaked. Tyke ran out and the lion chased him. 

"Hey, don't pick on him! He didn't do anything to you!" Nick shouted as he picked up the barking dog. The lion wouldn't leave him alone so Nick decided to smack him on the nose. 

"What did you do that for? I didn't bite him..." the lion said, crying. 

"You're just a big old coward. Picking on a dog. Who does that?" Nick reasoned.

"I'm a-scared of rats....he looked like a big rat." the lion sobbed, winking. 

"He's a Chihuahua." Nick explained. 

"What's the big idea, scaring us like that?" the scarecrow said angrily.

"You're trespassing in my forest!" the lion said, winking again. 

"What's wrong with your eye?" Nick snickered. The lion seemed mad and began cursing in Spanish. 

"Uh....what did he say?" the scarecrow asked, looking puzzled...but Nick figured that was since he didn't have a brain. 

"Hell if I know. Lemme ask him where Emerald City is." 

"Puta Madre." The lion muttered. 

"Donde esta mi pantellones?" Nick asked very slowly. The lion looked at him in confusion. 

"What? I don't know where your pants are." he said finally, trying to fix his mane....which was frizzy. 

"Okay....so we are trying to find this wizard....Jizzle...." Nick said, laughing at the name. He wasn't sure how a wizard could be taken seriously with a name like Jizzle. 

"Do you think he could help me too?" the lion asked. 

"What do you need help with..." Nick wondered although it was obvious that the winking was at the top of the list. 

"The other animals make fun of me....I'm not scary....and my voice...."

"Okay, okay you can come." Nick said when the lion started talking in Spanish again. 

"Ai dios mio....this is wonderful...." he mumbled. Nick shook his head and wondered how he was going to survive the rest of this trip. 

"Do....you...know....where....we....are-" 

"YES!" Nick and the scarecrow shouted at the tin man. 

"Fine....be....that....way..."   
"Get to the point already. We are going to see this Jizzle guy. He better be as awesome as everybody says or I will not be happy." Nick said, not thinking about his tired feet. The ruby converse were killing him....and he just wanted to go home....Nick hoped Jizzle would answer all of their problems.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wicked Witch puts a sleeping spell on Nick and the Lion, hoping to stop them from getting to Emerald City.

"Look! We're almost there!" Nick shouted excitedly, pointing. A vast field of pink and red flowers was in front of them....but at the end the yellow path continued, leading up to a brilliant, gleaming green city. 

 

"I didn't think they would make it this far!" Paris shouted as she watched them in her pink crystal ball. She was furious that the boy who killed Mandy the Witch of the East had made it to Emerald City. 

"That boy is more trouble than I thought he would be. I have to make sure he doesn't get to see the Jizzle of Oz....but how?" Paris muttered, pacing back and forth. 

"Ah....poppies. Perfect. Poppies will put them to sleep." she cackled, waving her hand over the crystal ball as she watched Nick and the others crossing the field of flowers. 

 

"We....are....almost...  
there." the tin man said. 

"Come on! Let's hurry!" the scarecrow shouted happily, rubbing ahead of them. Nick followed, Tyke and the Lion trying to keep up. All of a sudden he felt very tired....his body felt heavy. 

"Wait..." Nick said, slowing down halfway through the field. He didn't know where Tyke had gone to, the little dog had vanished in the flowers. 

"Come on, Nick!" the scarecrow yelled, waving. Nick stopped running and yawned, feeling tired. 

"I'm so sleepy..." he said. The Lion was slowing down as well, hardly able to keep up with the others. 

"Nick....what's wrong?" the scarecrow asked. All of a sudden Nick's legs gave out and he fell at the Tin Man's feet. The scarecrow ran to him, trying to help him up. 

"We can't stop now, we are almost there!" 

"He...fainted...." the Tin Man pointed out. 

"No...he's asleep!" the scarecrow exclaimed. Nick's eyes were closed and he lay still in front of him, Tyke was next to him curled up on the ground. 

"Maybe we should rest for a while." the Lion yawned, winking. He fell over, almost landing on Nick. 

"This is no accident...it's the witch...it must be a spell!" the scarecrow whispered angrily. Nick and the Lion were fast asleep and not responding to anything. 

"We.....could....carry...them....along." the Tin Man suggested. The scarecrow tried to move Nick but was unsuccessful. 

"This is not good. We need help! HELP!!" he shouted, but it was unlikely anybody would hear them all the way out here in the poppy field. 

"HELP...." the Tin Man said stiffly, but not loud enough for anyone to hear. 

"A lot of help you are. You can't even scream." the scarecrow scoffed. All of a sudden, it began to snow. 

"What's this? Could it help them?" he wondered. Nick's eyes fluttered open and he stirred. Tyke got up and began to lick his face, making him laugh. 

"Funny weather we are having...." the Lion said, looking like Father Christmas with snow all over his mane. 

"Are you all right?" the scarecrow asked Nick once the snow stopped and they brushed themselves off. 

"I think so...what hapopened?" Nick wondered, blinking. 

"The witch.....put....a..." 

"Yeah..yeah. Okay, save it. Look, we are almost to Emerald City....I can go home!" Nick said happily, looking at the gleaming green towers down the path. It looked just as he had imagined it would....but it was awfully bright. The four of them exited the poppy field and walked up to the large emerald gate....hoping they would find what they needed behind it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wicked Witch of the West captures Nick and holds him in her pink castle.

"So we have to go to the castle where that witch lives? Ay dios..." the Lion said before launching off into a string of Spanish curse words that Nick didn't understand. 

"Why didn't I learn Spanish when I was in Spain?" he asked aloud. The forest was getting foggy and dark...the trees were bare. 

"You don't think there are ghosts in here, do you?" the scarecrow asked. The crow had returned, perched firmly on his head as he swatted at it. 

"Ghosts....there....are...no...." 

"Yeah we get it there aren't any." Nick snapped, ignoring the Tin Man completely and rolling his eyes. The trip to Emerald City had been uneventful, besides getting really cool dark sunglasses from the gate keeper and meeting the "Jizzle". He had told them to bring him the broomstick from the wicked witch of the west, Paris. After a while of whining and fighting with the Lion, they had set off into the forest looking for Paris's castle. They came across a sign halfway through. 

"I would turn back if I were you! Okay...come on you guys..." the Lion said shakily in his high pitched voice, his eye twitching again. 

"Shut up you scaredy cat." Nick muttered, but he was a bit afraid himself...the witch was out to get him after all....she wanted his sneakers. They continued through the darkening forest, looking around cautiously. 

 

Paris watched the four of them through her crystal ball and cackled. She turned to what looked like a group of teenage girls...but they were part monkey and had wings on their backs.

"Do what you want with the rest of them but being me that Nick and his dog....I want him unharmed. Take extra care with the sneakers. Go! Go and get him!" she shouted as they flew out of the window and into the sky. 

 

"NICKKKKK...." 

"OMG there he is!!" 

 

"What the fuck?" Nick said, turning around to see the girls running after him. His eyes went wide as one of them grabbed the Scarecrow and tore him apart. Another picked up the tin man...he didn't move as he was lifted in the air...he remained stationary. Nick was running, running as fast as he could, but three of them caught hold of him at once and grabbed at him, fighting over him. 

"He's mine! I saw him first..." 

"Let go! I'm taking him!" 

"I think I prefer our rabid fans to these things..." Nick mumbled as the strongest one picked him up and carried him off. He was brought to the witch's castle not far away. It looked like Barbie's Malibu dream house...everything was covered in pink and sequins or glitter. 

"Somebody's house needs a makeover. I wouldn't be caught dead living in here." Nick said as he waited in the main room. The witch walked in and Tyke growled menacingly. 

"What a nice little dog..." she said, kicking him. She picked him up as he growled and snapped at her. 

"Put him down...he's not even my damn dog!" Nick protested. Paris put the dog into a basket and handed him to one of the monkey-girls. 

"How nice to see you again, my Nicky." 

"What are you going to do with him Give him back!" Nick asked. He knew Brian would have a fit if anything happened to Tyke. 

"All in good time." 

"What the fuck is your problem?" Nick asked. He was really starting to wonder how he got himself in these situations. 

"Give me the sneakers and you can have him back." 

"That Leighanne chick told me not to." 

"Take this and drown it." 

"Take the goddamn shoes then if they are so important to you." Nick snapped at her. Paris walked over but as she got near the shoes she was shocked by the electricity. 

"What the hell? I didn't do it!" Nick said as she screamed in pain. 

"i should have known that they wouldn't come off of you. No matter. Those shoes won't come off as long as you are alive...but we can fix that." the witch said. As she said this, Tyke managed to knock the basket over and escape. 

"Run Tyke, run!!!!" Nick screamed. Tyke made it out of the castle and Nick grinned at the witch, who was furious. 

"Damn you and your dog. You're nothing but trouble...but like I said one way or another I will have those shoes." the witch cackled. Nick backed away from her as she brought out a large hourglass filled with pink sand. 

"This is how long you have to live..." 

"Yeah right." Nick said, sitting down on the stairs. 

"When this goes empty those shoes will be mine and i won't be bothered by you anymore. Enjoy your life, Nicky...it won't last much longer." Paris laughed before she walked out. Nick looked at the hourglass as the sand drained out of it...wondering what would happen now...wondering if he would ever get home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lion, Tin Man and the Scarecrow come up with a plan to help Nick escape the witch's castle.

"You guys okay?" the lion asked, coming out from the tree where he was hiding. 

"Does it look like it?" the scarecrow asked...his head and arms moving, but the rest of him was limp. The crow nearby cawed at him, laughing. 

"What happened?" the lion said as he walked over, holding his tail nervously. The tin man lay nearby, his body stiff as a board. 

"Where...did...Nick..." 

"Those things carried him away...we have to go get him." the scarecrow interrupted, flailing his arms. 

"Where's your body, anyway?" the Lion wondered, his eye twitching again. The Scarecrow looked...pieces of straw were scattered around the clearing. 

"They took my leg and threw it over there...then my chest ended up over there..." he said. 

"We...have...to...fix....him..." the Tin Man said slowly, walking over to them. After a while they managed to put him together and head for the castle. Tyke came running towards them, whimpering and barking.   
"Hey...it's that dog....Tyke...he must have escaped!" the Lion said, winking. 

"Nick....is...in..." 

"Nick's in trouble!" the scarecrow interrupted. 

"Let....me....finish..." the Tin Man said in monotone. 

"No time for that. We have to hurry and save him." the scarecrow snapped, waving his arm over his head at the black crow. 

"Just do me one favor before we go up there." the Lion asked. 

"What's that?" 

"Talk me out of it!" the lion whined, fondling the end of his tail. 

 

Nick stared nervously at the top half of the hour glass....it was half empty and going fast. He didn't think she would actually kill him...this was a dream...he couldn't die, or could he? 

"I want to go home..." he said as he sat on the cold stone steps. He wondered if the others were coming and if Tyke had reached them at all. 

"Nick...where are you?" Kevin's voice asked. Nick turned around and saw his face in the crystal ball. 

"Kevin? Kevin, I'm here....I am trying to come home...I'm okay!!" he said. 

"Nick...where are you?" Kevin asked again as he faded away. Nick's eyes watered. 

"Kevin! Kevin! I will give you Kevin!!!" Paris cackled, her ugly face appearing in the crystal ball. Nick jumped back in surprise. 

"Goddamn it, she is an ugly bitch." he muttered. Nick wanted nothing more to be away from her, he wasn't sure why but something about the witch made him jumpy...not just the fact she was a witch, but something he couldn't put his finger on. Like an annoying girlfriend he had or hadn't had yet. 

"Nick?" a voice asked suddenly. The hourglass was almost empty when he head the scarecrow outside of the room. Nick jumped to his feet. 

"Get me the fuck out of here!" he shouted. 

"How?" the scarecrow replied, confused. 

"Use the Tin Man's ax you idiot! Chop down the door....hurry!" Nick screamed. The sand was nearly empty and he was beginning to panic a little bit. He heard the ax chopping and pretty soon the door caved in. 

"Thank god." Nick said, relief washing over him. 

"Are you okay?" the Scarecrow asked. 

"I'm fine. Get me the hell out of this place." Nick told them as they ran down the pink hallway. 

"Get them!!!" the witch shouted. Nick's eyes went wide as Paris stood behind them, her palace guards looking pissed off and holding giant spears.   
"Fuck. RUN!" he yelled, pushing the Lion ahead of him. They ran to the door but it was locked. After a moment they were surrounded, and Nick just wished he would wake up and get out of the dream, but at this point he thought maybe it was real. He would never get home....he would be stuck in the Barbie house forever and it scared him. 

"You think it was going to be that easy to escape?" Paris laughed, coming towards them. The Scarecrow stepped in front of Nick, his short straw arms outstretched.   
"You're not hurting him." he said. Paris laughed. She saw a lit torch on the wall and smiled. 

"Nicky will have the opportunity to see the other three die before him.....even that little rat you call a dog." she said as Tyke growled at her. 

"He's not my dog..." Nick whispered, holding him close to his chest. Paris came at them but tripped over a bucket of water on the floor. It splashed on her and she began to scream. 

"You see what he did? He threw it at me!! I'm melting!" the witch shouted pointing at Nick.   
"I didn't touch you. You fell over it!" Nick protested. She began shrinking slowly, wailing the whole time about how Nick killed her. 

"How could you destroy my beautiful wickedness?" she said as she melted into a puddle of pink, bubbling goop. When she was gone, one of the guards kicked at her clothes but she was completely gone. 

"I didn't kill her..." Nick said as the guards looked at him. To his surprise they started cheering. 

"The wicked witch is dead! Hail Nick! We are free at last!" the largest one said happily. 

"Awesome. Can we have her broom?" Nick asked. The guard gave it to him and smiled. Nick turned to the others, grinning. 

"Now we can get this to that Jizzle guy and I can go home!" he said, hoping that the Jizzle really was as powerful as everyone had said.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes to the Great Jizzle of Oz, but is he as powerful as everyone says?

"What are you doing back?" 

"We brought the broomstick from the witch like you asked..." Nick said, placing the pink bedazzled broom on the ground. 

"We killed her...." the Scarecrow drawled meekly.

"Hey, I didn't kill her. She fell in a damn puddle. Not my fault!" Nick interrupted. There was a giant head in front of them...with two columns of flames on each side. 

"Sweet. Okay....come back tomorrow, and I will help you." Jizzle said...his voice booming in the large room. Nick glared at him, shaking with anger. 

"WHAT??" he said, lunging for the large head, but the Lion and the Scarecrow held him back. 

"Don't make him angry." the Lion cautioned. 

"No! This is bullshit! I have been through hell and he tells us to come back tomorrow....I'm gonna kick his ass." 

"I don't think that's a good idea." the Scarecrow said. Nick got free of their grip and stood there, feeling angry. He wanted to get back....he wondered if the other guys missed him or were looking for him. Tyke started barking and ran over to a large black and red curtain nearby, tugging on it. 

"The Great Jizzle has SPOKEN! Come back tomorrow!!" the voice boomed again, but as Tyke pulled the curtain, a man stood there. Nick squinted...he recognized the tattoos. 

"AJ?" 

"Aw FUCK. Uh...ignore....ignore the guy behind the curtain..shit." 

"AJ? Are you shitting me? What are you doing here?" Nick demanded, walking over. AJ waved and smiled nervously. 

"Uh...funny story actually. When the tornado was coming, We didn't know where you went to. I was looking for you, and I ended up hanging onto the side of the bus as it was picked up. So it tossed me and I landed near the city. They found me and called me a wizard..." 

"Well that explains a few things. So how do I get home now?" Nick asked. 

"First thing's first, both of us need to get home." 

"What about us?" the lion said, and Nick looked at the others. 

"You might as well help them too." he reasoned.

"Uh...." AJ said, shrugging. 

"He needs a brain....he needs courage and English lessons..." Nick said, pointing at the Scarecrow and Lion. 

"Puta Madre." the lion said, his eye twitching again. 

"He needs to fix that goddamn eye too. That bugs the shit out of me." Nick said. 

"Okay. So you need a brain....wait. If you don't have a brain, how the fuck do you talk?" AJ asked. The Scarecrow looked confused. 

"Never thought about it." he drawled, crossing his arms. 

"Then you must already have one." AJ said wisely.   
"Good point!" the Scarecrow said happily. 

"Now what about him? What's his problem...?" AJ asked...looking at the Tin Man standing nearby. He didn't move, looking more like a statue than anything else. 

"Him? Huh. Well, he doesn't have a heart, I guess." Nick said. AJ looked him over, nodding. 

"He reminds me of someone....I can't think of who." 

"Well what can we do to fix him? It's not like we have hearts lying around or something." Nick scoffed. He hated how AJ over analyzed things sometimes....he also wondered how he ended up here. 

"Hmmm, well I guess you're boned then now aren't you?" AJ said. 

"Hey...that's...not...." the Tin Man started. 

"We get it. So how do we get home, AJ? I want to go home!" Nick whined. 

"I did see a hot air balloon out back but I'm not sure anybody would miss it if we took it..." AJ suggested. Nick wasn't sure if this was a good idea but he was willing to try anything at this point....he wanted to get back to Florida even if AJ didn't seem to know what he was doing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick is happy to finally leave Oz and go home.

A large crowd waited outside of the palace where AJ had been staying. Everyone was wearing dark glasses like he was. 

"What can I say, I'm a trend setter." he grinned. Nick held Tyke as they stood in the balloon, AJ giving a speech to the crowd. 

"I will miss you, Nick." the Scarecrow said, smiling. 

"Me too...I think I will miss you most." Nick replied as the Scarecrow hugged him. 

"I'm leaving the Scarecrow and the Lion in charge while I'm gone, listen to them like you would listen to me." AJ said. 

"Dude, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean...can he run a country?" Nick asked softly.

"They let Arnold be in charge of California." AJ pointed out as Nick nodded. 

"Good point." he said. Tyke began struggling as he spotted a cat nearby. He barked and jumped down from the balloon, Nick and AJ called him but he wouldn't come back. 

"Shit. Brian's gonna kill me...don't go anywhere." Nick said, hopping out and knocking one of the ropes loose. 

"Fuck.....Nick get back here!" AJ screamed. Nick got Tyke, but by the time he came back with the dog the ballloon and AJ were already in the air. 

"AJ you moron! Come back!!!" Nick begged. 

"Uh....I don't know how it works!" AJ said as he drifted away. The crowd was waving at him as he left....Nick pouted. 

"Now I will never get home...." he said, his eyes watering as he held Tyke....the dog licking his face. 

"We will keep you company..." the Lion said, winking. 

"Thanks but this could never be like home. I bet Kevin stopped wondering what happened to me by now," Nick scowled at him, angry at himself. He wondered even how AJ would find his way back....he had no idea how to work a hot air balloon. 

"That's great and all....but I miss my friends. I miss that old tour bus....I miss the crazy girls chasing me every night..." Nick said as a pink bubble floated towards them. 

"Here's someone who could help." the Scarecrow said, smiling. Leighanne appeared in front of Nick, adjusting her scarf again. 

"Can you help me?" Nick asked. 

"You don't need any more help." Leighanne said sweetly, twirling her wand in her hand and smiling. 

"Are you joking? I want to go back home...." Nick said, wanting to cry. 

"You always had the power to go back." she said, fixing her scarf again. 

"What do you mean? Why didn't you tell him?" the Scarecrow asked. 

"He wouldn't have believed me if I did. Nick needed to find out for himself." Leighanne said.   
"What did you find out?" the Lion asked, winking.

"That I already knew where I wanted to be...and I should be happy wherever I am, right?" Nick said, Leighanne smiling at him. 

"That's right. Now those shoes you're wearing are magic shoes. If you want to go back to Florida, they will take you there in two seconds." she replied. 

"What? What the fuck? Why didn't you just tell me that in the beginning?" Nick asked angrily. 

"Now do you want to go home or not?" 

"Trust me I do. Will Tyke go too?" 

"Tyke too. Now are you ready?" Leighanne asked. Nick looked at her skeptically but guessed this wasn't the weirdest thing to happen yet. 

"Yes, I'm ready." Nick said, picking up the dog and standing in front of her. 

"Click your heels together and say "there is no place like home"." Leighanne said. Nick didn't believe her but closed his eyes and tapped the ends of his red shoes together. 

"There's no place like home...."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick finds there is no place like home.

"Nick!" 

"There's no place like home...." 

"Nick?" 

"There's no place like home..." 

Nick heard their voices but he didn't wake up...his head was hurting and he felt dizzy. 

"He took quite a hit on the head....he should be all right." Kevin's voice said softly. Kevin? Nick's eyes fluttered open and he woke up on the bed in the back of the tour bus. 

"What happened?" he asked, sitting up in the bed. 

"You got hit in the head you dummy. Are you okay now?" AJ asked, smiling. 

"How did you get back?" Nick whispered. 

"What? From where?"

"AJ....you left in the balloon." Nick said, his eyes narrowed.

"Nick I think you need to lie back down, kiddo. You're talking crazy." Kevin said, laughing at him. Brian came into the room, smiling. 

"He's awake..." 

"No, I was lost and I tried to get back for days and days....I swear! There was a witch....and you were there....and you..." Nick protested. 

"I'm sure you did. Sounds like you had some dream. Get some rest." Kevin said, gently touching Nick's shoulder.   
"I'm telling the truth. But the whole time I wanted to come back....and the sent me home....I missed all of you. I won't ever leave again...." Nick replied. 

"We love you too, when you're not annoying the crap out of us." AJ laughed. 

"Nicky, what are you getting at?" Howie asked, winking. 

"There's no place like home..." Nick said as he smiled at all of them. They all grinned back and he knew this was where he wanted to be.


End file.
